“You really are cooking up a little scheme here, aren’t you?”

eggs

Welp.  I cooked my first keto meal today.  I used an instant pot/pressure cooker and a recipe from a keto book.  It was successful enough that I can still eat the results.  I learned a great deal in the process.  Before this, M cooked my food.  He’s a vegetarian; I didn’t even ask him to prepare food for my keto diet.  I’ve baked cookies from scratch, but that’s about the extent of my kitchen abilities.  I blew it as a kid in my mom’s kitchen.  (If the same flooring exists in the kitchen of my childhood home, I’m confident I could still create suds with just a little bit of water.)

I put liquid dishwashing soap in the dishwasher.  I used a liberal amount.  Then I dared to play with the resulting Bubblepalooza until my mom returned from the grocery store, horrified.  I was sofa king banned from even entering the kitchen after that fiasco.  I had to stop at the threshold and ask for things.  It sucked.  Don’t try this at home.  The Army spoiled me by providing mess halls.  For years after, I didn’t eat hot food unless someone gave me some.

M made me a pseudo vegetarian.  (I didn’t know how to select and cook meat, so I ate what he cooked.  And lots of candy.)  I have a huge sweet tooth.   My mom was on the health kick before I existed and throughout my childhood.  I was ten the first time I had a Coke, (and it burned my mouth and made me choke.)

I recently found out my sweets craving has an off switch, much to my delight.  Increasing the (right) fats in my diet turned it off.  I didn’t even notice at first.  I just stopped craving sweets.  My challenges with cooking today were based on not having the proper equipment, and not reading the instructions for the instant pot, beyond the warning labels.  I overcooked and slightly burned my Mexican Egg Casserole.  (It’s breakfast until it’s gone.)

onion and knife

While still edible, it lacks flavor, probably because I overcooked it, which is something I’m surprised I identified with my middle school taste level.  (Thank goodness for hot sauce.)  Had I read the instructions, I would have realized pressing start was necessary for the timer to begin counting down.  Whoops.  (Fortunately, it told me my food was burning with a beep and text.) 😂🤭  The recipes are not autism-friendly.  They leave out a lot of information.  Chopping an onion for the first time (with a crappy steak knife) took a while.

I wish it had given precise instructions on how to go about this task, including which tool to use.  Start from washing the onion, and finish with chopped onions ready to be added to the pot.  Pictures in progress would be immensely helpful.  (They say a thousand words and all that.) Next time, I’ll choose a book that has a better quality of presentation over the number of recipes included.  (600 seemed like a good idea at the time.)

Since there’s a good chance the grocery delivery person has more meat choosing experience than me, I ordered my ingredients from Hy-vee grocery.  (+10 for accepting available assistance.)  I just ordered all the tools I need for next time.  A food scale, measuring cups and spoons, knives and cutting boards, and mixing bowls.  Now I know why M only cooks at his place. 🤣  (He’s too polite to tell me my kitchen is lacking, no doubt.)

pepper and tomatoes

I’m proud of myself for barely succeeding on my first try.  Heh.  I’m amazed by how much food I got for so little money compared to buying junk food.  I have all the ingredients for a week’s worth of lunches and dinners in my fridge.  This weekend will be my second attempt.  I anticipate it going much better.  Fortunately, M’s cooking is keto-friendly if I skip the bread, so I have time to learn.  (Premature publication)  I’m off to continue reading Fall by Neal Stephenson.  I love it so much and am at about halfway through. 😆✌🏾💜

“And the heat! My god, the heat!”

feet standing on ON sign

It’s ridic humid and hot here.  Menopause is forcing me to make some lifestyle decisions.  Since I am not able to power my home with excess body heat, there’s no point in risking spontaneous combustion.  From my perspective, it seems menopause is a built-in get-your-shit-together-or-burn stage of life.  I found a supplement on Amazon that works well for me, called Breeze.

After the first bottle, I was hot flash free and thought that meant they were over.  I was mistaken, (and winter tricked me.)  Next, I tried a soy isolate supplement, and it didn’t help at all.  So I went back to using Breeze.  After only a few days, the hot flashes disappeared again, (and I internally kicked myself for playing.)  My electric bill doubled in May from running the central air at 68° F all that time.  🤭🤫

Now, I’m a fan placement ninja.  I have it set at 70° F, and am comfortable.  I’m able to sleep until my cat wakes me at 4:30-ish AM.  Then I return to bed for a few hours after feeding her.  I’m feeling tired earlier in the night, now.  I felt sleepy and went to bed before 11 PM last night (without being ill.)  I haven’t done that since Jr. High.  In the Army, they told us we only needed 4 hours per night, and I believed it without question.  🤪  My side hustle was ironing uniforms and polishing boots while the smart soldiers were sleeping.  (And you know I thought I was the smart one.  🤣)

workout gear

I had an orange and royal blue sweatsuit and matching sneakers I wore after hours while ironing and shining.  I thought I looked so cute until someone asked me if I worked at Dominos.  😂 (I kept wearing it because funny is even better IMO.)  I bought an RX7 and later a BMW 525 SI IIRC (both used), so the extra fundage served me well during my car-caring phase.  Driving a late model BMW while a glorified private still cracks me up.  (Even though it was a flashing neon sign saying, I’m new and have no concept of tomorrow.)

I’m devouring all the junk food in my house this weekend.  After that, I’m adopting the Keto diet.  One of my autistic besties made the change recently, and it’s eliminated issues we share.  The headache upon awakening and lots of other minor inflammation and pains I didn’t notice when not in my body are being addressed.  Also, my new belly.  At first, I was going to keep it, but then I realized it’s bullying my wardrobe options.  Plus, spandex looks hot.  Hard pass.  The belly has to go (do crunches.)

I’m reading, The Three Body Problem, by Cixin Liu, (translated by Ken Liu, who wrote the Good Hunting episode on Love, Death, and Robots on Netflix.)  I love it so far.  Before this, I read The Paper Menagerie and Other Stories by Ken Liu, and Exhalation by Ted Chiang.  I’m enjoying all three authors tremendously.  I watched the new season of Black Mirror.  Suddenly, I love Miley Cyrus.  I want her to cover more NIN songs, then move to Nirvana, Green Day, and keep going with alternative rock.  It fits her like a glove.  Also, Netflix, please release the Ashley O songs for downloading and streaming.  (That shit on Spotify?  Really?)  Thanks!

Striking Vipers - Black Mirror - Netflix

Striking Vipers was brilliant.  The actors likely made Charlie Brooker dance with joy.  They gave his characters believable dimension and relatability, allowing him to tell a story about us, whose subject was previously denied, causing unnecessary hardship.  (Keep throwing money at him, please, Netflix. 💜)  Tales of the City by Armistead Maupin, starring Ellen Page was fabulous.  I’m watching Pose, now, (thanks to The Read podcast.)  More love.  TV rocks, now.  I’m off to stare at it while depleting my fruit roll-up stash.   💜✌🏾