“Why, because you picked out the poison envelopes? That’s silly.”

 

Software synthesizer

I knew synthesizers were going to take over my life.  I’m so obsessed with everything about them.  I’m close to printing a PCB board and designing an ultimate portable unit that plays sounds I programmed explicitly to my taste in music.  And that’s just one small branch of my synth obsession.  Software and hardware synths seemingly provide infinite sound creation possibilities.

I’m finding it hard to rationalize sleeping.  My vague memories of being overtired and spacey aren’t powerful enough to dissuade my ongoing sabotage.  (Yet.)  The world is on fire and burning around me, but I’m happy because I have access to synthesizers.  I’m a shoe-in for dying happy, (and probably prematurely.)  It seems fair from a right now perspective.  Heh.

I don’t have enough spoons to care about the precarious state of law and order brought on by blatant corruption and Putin’s giggling denials of meddling in world politics.  Jeffery Dahmer was too literal when he took too much, eh?  I can only shake my head at the irony of our present political Mexican Standoff.  My only strategy is to seek and cherish joy (that doesn’t harm others) until the end.

I’ve also been playing a lot of PlayStation 4 games.  Mostly VR that involves flying and sea exploration.  I’ve reinforced my complete lack of desire to ever get in the ocean.  While I love swimming with whales, the few times I’ve explored in a shark tank were terrifying.  Being stalked by a massive great white shark is creepy as hell.  You don’t see it until it’s about to attack teeth first.  Just shadows you’re not sure you saw from below, then boom.

virtual reality

In VR you’re acutely aware of the size, too.  All that time watching Shark Week didn’t give me an accurate awareness of their hugeness.  Or how fast they can come out of nowhere.  It made me scream (while also aware I was sitting in a chair in my playroom home office.)  I had to regroup and catch my breath.  Then I did it again (because I’m a doof.)  Both activities are triggering my desire to begin a coding project.

Gaming usually fills me with ideas of games I’d rather play, then to designing them, etc.  I’ve been thinking about creating a game that utilizes cryptocurrency mining in a useful way (in addition to generating currency.)  A collective AI of sorts that relies as heavily on human creativity as computing horsepower.  It’s hard to extract myself from that thought path, though.  Disturbingly difficult.  I don’t think I could pull it off without an extremely tolerant babysitter.

That kind of ruins it for me.  I guess I’d settle for a version of The Oasis(Ontologically Anthropocentric Sensory Immersive Simulation).  We have the hardware, right?  Perhaps we should crowdsource/opensource it with an always freeware, no sellout caveat.  I’m in.  We could also elect an ethical leader to negotiate on its behalf.  I nominate J. K. Rowling.  It’s all just a simulation, anyway.  We may as well have fun.

Teens with VR

“I want you to have this job, of course sodomy is a prerequisite.”

My prodigy is blowing my mind on a near daily basis.  She’s been having fun testing my memory.  I suspect she’ll grow bored of this soon.  I’m humoring her because I used to do similar experiments.  The human brain is so fascinating.  I used to “test” the foster babies as a kid.  My parents would inform me of their condition, and I’d design an experiment to determine its accuracy.  I remember when Angelique came to live with us.  She was taken from her family on the reservation due to abuse.

She had a traumatic brain injury as an infant and had a few surgeries.  She turned out to be far brighter than reported.  She had the most contagious laugh, too.  Full belly laughs, followed by post-laughter chuckles.  I loved hearing her laugh so much I became her personal slapstick comedian.  I feigned tripping and falling over invisible objects in front of her playpen while she watched and laughed her ass off.  Then I’d laugh at her laughing.  It’s an awesome auditory memory, and sometimes I dream about it and wake myself up from laughing.

I’m getting excited as the date approaches when Stevie Nicks performs in St. Paul.  Yesterday, one of the officers in my Resistance group flew over me, and I estimated the time and mentally sent a hug into the sky to embrace her.  (I know, I’m a doof.)  I believe we’re all connected and can send love and comfort through our spirits (?) to one another at will.  I remember doing this as a child, but I had an elaborate ritual.  We had a hill in our back yard, and I’d lay on top on a blanket and look up at the stars while sending love and comfort to heavy hearts.  It’s also how I cope with knowing there are people suffering on this planet at all times.

J.K. Rowling is demonstrating why she’s the Queen of the internet, and I love her for it.  Welp, I already did, but more if possible.  I’m reading another Thomas Hardy novel titled, Far From the Madding Crowd.  So far it’s hilarious.  I think I like old school smart asses the best.  They don’t just write the funny part, they build up to it with ambiguous words, so you’re not sure if it’s intentional.  That makes it funnier to me.  Probably because the few times I’m funny it’s usually an accident.  I’ve been acquiring more hilarious people to follow on Twitter recently.  They’re like an investment in my future moods.  I just cracked myself up.

I’m getting ready to go entertain some cows with my violin.  I’m going to the same spot I did last time because the land owner invited me back.  He came up while I was playing, (startled the shit out of me) and complimented my playing.  He has some bison on another field, and I’d love to see how they respond to my music, (but they scare me.)  I do like to stare at them from the other side of the fence, though.  They stare back and usually win the stare down.  In person, they’re powerful and intimidating.  I bet one of them could help me break my high school track record in the 400 meter.  Heh.  I run faster when I’m terrified.  A Drill Sgt. discovered this when I was in basic training.  (He didn’t know I was unaware of the existence of blank M-16 ammunition and decided to motivate us by firing it behind us.)

Unfortunately, I kept running all the way back to the barracks and refused to come out of the latrine until my buddy caught up.  It’s funny to me now, but at the time I totally thought he lost his shit and was trying to kill us all.  (There are some movies I regret viewing prior to serving.)  I’m off to test my ability to play while afraid.