“You know, sort of swing them, so your not lurching around like a caveman.”

teddy bear exiting porta-potty

I was going to put a content warning above this post, but after a few moments consideration, I recognize it’s a ridiculous notion. At least I got a good chuckle out of it. I’m amused. It’s likely because it seems I don’t sleep anymore. Aside from feeling like I’m a week into recovering from an epic ass whooping, I don’t mind. It’s afforded me plenty of time to think.

Since I can’t figure out how to stop thinking, I decided to embrace it. Funnily enough, it occurred to me I’m just intelligent enough to recognize how stupid I am. I’m astonished by the depth of my stupidity. Fortunately, most things I do that allow me to exist are automatic biological processes; breathing, circulation, etc.

I’m most amused by how humans attempt to measure intelligence and use the tenuous conclusions to determine who has access to specific information, as well as justification for abusing those deemed incapable. I fell for it. I’m an idiot. I fall for all sorts of nonsensical bullshit. Eventually, I recognized the difference between genius and idiot is irrelevant.

bunny mascot

In my lifetime, the only relevant factors for homo sapiens are white skin and dominance capacity. Dominance capacity probably equates to having the biggest stick, although, if you can convince enough people you have the biggest stick, you don’t even need one. The universe is the best comedian ever. 😂

I spent years believing I was superior to others because I was dumb enough to accept and embrace the genius narrative. I took pride in obtaining a doctoral degree without spending any of the imaginary currency I believed I could own; all because I performed well on some test that claimed to identify my intellect as exceptional in comparison to others who took the test. It’s hilarious and tragic at the same time. (It’s also excellent evidence I’m an idiot.)

I’m also amused by how humanity has developed a manual and several professions aimed at identifying those who are sane, and those who aren’t. Let’s take a look at how a random internet dictionary defines it, shall we?


adjective, san·er, san·est.

  • free from mental derangement; having a sound, healthy mind: a sane person.
  • having or showing reason, sound judgment, or good sense: sane advice.
  • sound; healthy.

Yeah. I’ve yet to encounter anyone who meets these criteria. Not a single human being in my over forty years of observing. I’ve only witnessed sanity as mood-like; fleeting. Sometimes people are sane; sometimes not. Nobody I know of is always rational. There are degrees of sanity and valid illnesses that affect it, but that about covers it. It’s fleeting in everyone I’ve observed, including those who purport to treat and define it. (In my experience, especially.) 😂🤣


Homo sapiens are good at separating people into groups. These groups are used to determine who gets access to resources, or more to the point, who gets to live. It’s a complicated and convoluted big stick wielding exercise. It’s poorly veiled domination. (I don’t get to judge it as poorly done, because I’m an idiot who fell for it.) I’m so dumb; I fell in love with homo sapiens because I haven’t been able to train a computer to do even a fraction of what most of us can do, after spending most of my life trying.

That’s right. I wasted most of my life teaching a computer to be an even dumber version of my dumb ass. Worse, I almost accepted a shit-load of imaginary currency because I managed to do it more effectively than others. It seemed a smart thing to do; to acquire access to far more resources in exchange for the product of my wasted effort that sucks more than I do.

My life would probably last a lot longer if I took the fake money. I’d have a massive stick. Unfortunately, I somehow figured out what my big stick would mean for other humans. I messed around and noticed the way humans live on earth means only a finite number get to survive; and at the cost of other lives. Stupid as I am, I’m sure lots of others figured this out too. It just seems most don’t care. Self-preservation trumps all else for most people, I suppose.

smoking praying mantis

We have a bunch of ancient texts that state otherwise, but from what I’ve seen, most use them as a manual on how to appear good to other people, not how to live. They’re quite fascinating to read, though. They profoundly contradict the sanity narrative, but somehow manage to be considered the accepted exception. They’re infinitely twistable to fit nearly any agenda. Useful, that. Humans are exceptional at creating imaginary sticks, eh? Sadly, they’re often supported by those who carry real ones, which is why they work. ☹️

I’m so stupid; I’d rather die than kill. I’m not even interested in owning a stick, real or imaginary. The US military couldn’t cure me of this affliction. It doesn’t matter how many people beat me with their sticks, and many have. I fully expect more blows in my future. I was born into several undesirable groups that pretty much guarantee a shortened journey by one of these blows, sooner than later. Perhaps I’m just smart enough to recognize it as a blessing.  I’m off to beat my drums with (non-dominating) sticks.  😂✌🏽