“Stanley Gets Your Lunch.”

posable figure with antiquated black rotary phone

I’ve been catching up on HBO’s Silicon Valley.  It’s so funny it hurts (in a fab way.)  It takes me a while to watch an episode because I have to pause to get my breathing back under control.  (I don’t want to miss any dialogue because I fell over giggling.)  Also, I’m reading Always Look on the Bright Side of Life:  A Sortabiography, by Eric Idle.  (It feels like stating it’s hilarious is a Captain Obvious joke waiting to happen.)  Yep.  The Depression Monster is curled up in the fetal position in the corner.  (Lay by your bowl, bitch.) 🙃

I had to break up with (Amazon’s) Alexa, recently.  She woke me up by flashing an orange ring on my Echo device, indicating I had a message (even though I didn’t set up messaging on purpose.)  It was to inquire whether or not I’d like to reorder an item I just ordered.  And then she had a horrible accident involving a fall.  I’m delighted to report she didn’t survive.  Are you kidding me?  So anyway, I got this new speaker that looks a little bit like an Echo, except it can never wake me up and make me kill it.

Between that and several unfortunate quantity-over-quality decisions regarding their electronics, I’m done buying Amazon’s devices unless they create something at least as fresh as the Wii, and built as solidly as the original XBOX.  And doesn’t shit on my boundaries.  Good luck.  (I was set to purchase the new Echo, but they pushed back the release date just long enough for me to not want it anymore hate it.  Thanks, universe.)  It looks like Siri wins by default.  Heh.  (Just kidding, I built my own and was only using Alexa to play sleep sounds.)

microphone

I got my Vitamin D supplements from Ora Organic (via The Friend Zone.)  I’ve been taking it for a few days now.  I had no idea a deficiency can contribute to depression in those with higher melanin.  It can also lead to bone density problems in those with low melanin.  I like that it’s plant-based rather than sheep’s wool.  I haven’t had any digestive issues with it, so yay.  They’re having a sale right now.  (Captian Obvious strikes again.) I also got the pre/probiotic.  I already like Ora Organic enough to pay a little more (for knowing it’s not a fly-by-night third-party seller on Amazon pushing who knows what in unregulated capsules.)

I’m stunned by how disabling it is to be unable to speak on the telephone.  Probably because I used to be able to do it.  I thought since it’s practically 2020, I could use existing tech to compensate.  (I forgot it required someone else to use it, too.)  So I’m going to practice recording myself talking.  I’ll store some common phrases so I can play them over the phone if necessary.  I don’t mind having excessively long conversations (in the uncanny inflection valley) to set appointments since it doesn’t cause involuntary projectile hurling.  (Because evidently email is too new or hard or something.) 🙄

Kid Fury put me on to Mott’s fruit-flavored snacks.  He just mentioned them on The Read, and I heard, try them.  They’re amazing.  It’s my new favorite candy, as I’m not silly enough to believe the fruit and vegetable claims on the box (but am enough to chuckle at the audacity.)  I skipped the holiday gathering this year due to the weather.  I suck at driving, so I didn’t attempt to do it after it snowed the day before.  You’re welcome, people traveling nearby.  I’m off to create a beat for the car alarm going off so long I decided to sample it for a song.  😆💜✌🏽