I’m in Denver. M. is babysitting Amelia Bedelia in my absence. She thinks he’s a heated cushion that dispenses treats, too, so she’ll be okay. I have a pet cam near her climbing tree thingy. I can talk to her through it using my phone. She usually comes over to see how I’m doing that, then knocks it to the floor. She’s on a lifelong mission to make sure all surfaces are clear of objects (not nailed down.) She’s totally winning.
S. (M.’s sister) and I have been blasting Stevie Nicks music and dancing around. I got too hot, so I’m taking a cool down break. My body sucks at regulating my temperature. If I get too hot and continue doing whatever activity has me overheating, I barf… I can juggle, too. 🙃 The TV is 75″, which sounded awesome at the time. Now I find it overwhelming, and I’m tripping over people’s skin in 4k. It’s not as perfect as it looked in 1080P. The actors are so real. I mean I knew they were real, but apparently, I used to think they had fake skin. I like reality better.
I’m trying to distract myself from acknowledging my anxiety. Between the news and being away from home, I’m a bit rattled. So I should totally stop writing about it. S. has been noticing weird shit about me out loud. I hope it doesn’t mean I’m getting on her nerves. It’s making me laugh because it’s shit I never noticed. Like putting my plate up high while it cools, then forgetting about it, then remembering when I realize I’m still hungry and it’s less appealing.
I helped her get to the this is why I don’t cook part. (Nature knew there were going to be people like me, so she made fruit and nuts.) S. is an excellent cook. I’m going to put forth extra effort to eat dinner at the table with her while it’s still warm. I think I probably fucked up, but I need to think about it some more. I put my food up high because I have a cat, but she’s not here. Ah well, I’ll do better at dinner. S. is a lot of fun to hang out with, and she’s funny.
There are going to be two new Harry Potter books!!! I didn’t expect it, and I’m so happy. There are so many books I’m looking forward to right now. I collect things to look forward to in the future. They’re my little arsenal of guided anti-depression missiles. When the Depression Monster has me in an illegal hold, and I can’t muster the energy to hold my head up, I can still think about joyful things to come. I have notes to myself in my hallway to remind me it’s there when I need it. (I pace a lot when I’m anxious, so I figured two birds.)
I miss M. and my cat (and would very much like to return home immediately.) Sigh. I met two of the kids who will be attending the camp earlier. They’re so cute I can barely stand it. We mostly talked about their missing teeth (twin 7-year-olds.) I’m excited for it to begin on Monday. I have a sponsorship prospect meeting next week, (S. is going with me, yay.) The camp is going to be free if I have to pay for it out of my own pocket, but that’s not likely. Frankly, it would be worth it to me to pay kids to attend. Fortunately, I’m not the only one who understands how to invest in the future.
The best part is they’ll graduate with tools that apply to all aspects of life. You want to be a ballerina? Perfect! I’ll teach you how to map your course, and troubleshoot obstacles along the way. Hacking is about finding solutions to questions with the means at hand. It’s generally considered to be a method of subverting computer security, but that’s an outdated interpretation, in my opinion. To me, hacking is about critical thinking, perspective shifting, puzzle solving, brainstorming, and MacGuyver’ing. It’s about thinking differently and optimizing. (I did a better job of explaining in the handout, but I can’t reach it from here.)
I recognize my autistic acquaintances and friends may be thinking, “So hacking is like being autistic (aspie) on purpose.” Yep. What we do on a daily basis to fit in as best we can. (Except it’s optional.) I suppose I’m kind of giving ladders to already tall people in some ways. However, I want today’s children to (figuratively) be able to reach everything on the highest shelves (of life) when they’re ready. Even those that don’t exist yet. Perhaps especially. I’m cold now, so I’m off to dance.