The Depression Monster ambushed me in my sleep. I tried so hard to ignore him, but I couldn’t stop weeping against my will over shit that already happened. It’s a lousy way to wake up. I don’t recommend it. In the hour it took me to awaken fully, he beat me up with logic. I hate that. I can’t argue with logic. He has new weapons that initially shocked me, then left me reeling with their truth.
Now I’m just pissed off the American government doesn’t promote euthanasia. I don’t understand why I haven’t seen a single commercial offering a safe and simple way to put ourselves down like pets. It should cost $19.95, and available at convenience stores open 24/7. I’ve been producing this commercial in my head, (mostly because it’s far less dark than other thoughts running through my mind, and it amuses me.)
I’m going to cut this short because I know it’s too honest. I know in a few days my brain chemistry will likely return to homeostasis, and this will all seem ridic. Even though right now I’m confident this is entirely reasonable, and therefore my usual mindset is mere self-deception. I also know I’ll still be upset I can’t buy a PermaNap kit for $19.95. I’m off to design the packaging with Photoshop and my ninja coping skills.