“You really are cooking up a little scheme here, aren’t you?”

eggs

Welp.  I cooked my first keto meal today.  I used an instant pot/pressure cooker and a recipe from a keto book.  It was successful enough that I can still eat the results.  I learned a great deal in the process.  Before this, M cooked my food.  He’s a vegetarian; I didn’t even ask him to prepare food for my keto diet.  I’ve baked cookies from scratch, but that’s about the extent of my kitchen abilities.  I blew it as a kid in my mom’s kitchen.  (If the same flooring exists in the kitchen of my childhood home, I’m confident I could still create suds with just a little bit of water.)

I put liquid dishwashing soap in the dishwasher.  I used a liberal amount.  Then I dared to play with the resulting Bubblepalooza until my mom returned from the grocery store, horrified.  I was sofa king banned from even entering the kitchen after that fiasco.  I had to stop at the threshold and ask for things.  It sucked.  Don’t try this at home.  The Army spoiled me by providing mess halls.  For years after, I didn’t eat hot food unless someone gave me some.

M made me a pseudo vegetarian.  (I didn’t know how to select and cook meat, so I ate what he cooked.  And lots of candy.)  I have a huge sweet tooth.   My mom was on the health kick before I existed and throughout my childhood.  I was ten the first time I had a Coke, (and it burned my mouth and made me choke.)

I recently found out my sweets craving has an off switch, much to my delight.  Increasing the (right) fats in my diet turned it off.  I didn’t even notice at first.  I just stopped craving sweets.  My challenges with cooking today were based on not having the proper equipment, and not reading the instructions for the instant pot, beyond the warning labels.  I overcooked and slightly burned my Mexican Egg Casserole.  (It’s breakfast until it’s gone.)

onion and knife

While still edible, it lacks flavor, probably because I overcooked it, which is something I’m surprised I identified with my middle school taste level.  (Thank goodness for hot sauce.)  Had I read the instructions, I would have realized pressing start was necessary for the timer to begin counting down.  Whoops.  (Fortunately, it told me my food was burning with a beep and text.) 😂🤭  The recipes are not autism-friendly.  They leave out a lot of information.  Chopping an onion for the first time (with a crappy steak knife) took a while.

I wish it had given precise instructions on how to go about this task, including which tool to use.  Start from washing the onion, and finish with chopped onions ready to be added to the pot.  Pictures in progress would be immensely helpful.  (They say a thousand words and all that.) Next time, I’ll choose a book that has a better quality of presentation over the number of recipes included.  (600 seemed like a good idea at the time.)

Since there’s a good chance the grocery delivery person has more meat choosing experience than me, I ordered my ingredients from Hy-vee grocery.  (+10 for accepting available assistance.)  I just ordered all the tools I need for next time.  A food scale, measuring cups and spoons, knives and cutting boards, and mixing bowls.  Now I know why M only cooks at his place. 🤣  (He’s too polite to tell me my kitchen is lacking, no doubt.)

pepper and tomatoes

I’m proud of myself for barely succeeding on my first try.  Heh.  I’m amazed by how much food I got for so little money compared to buying junk food.  I have all the ingredients for a week’s worth of lunches and dinners in my fridge.  This weekend will be my second attempt.  I anticipate it going much better.  Fortunately, M’s cooking is keto-friendly if I skip the bread, so I have time to learn.  (Premature publication)  I’m off to continue reading Fall by Neal Stephenson.  I love it so much and am at about halfway through. 😆✌🏾💜