“Who’s Justice Beaver?”

cat peeking out from behind pillows
Amelia B

I finally made it to my dental appointment.  It took a while for me to grok the victory.  But once I did, I was no longer stapled to the floor from massive energy depletion.  It’s embarrassing how quickly I felt better by merely adjusting my perspective.  Now I have to acknowledge how much shit I’ve made harder by picking a viewpoint without benefits. Welp.  May as well skip the regret (because who has time to double down on mistakes?)

Did you see Dr. Keia from Gettin Grown podcast on The Read tv show? (!!!)  More importantly, did you hear her?  I got chills.  Then I rewatched it several times until M confiscated the remote.  (It kept repeating the same ad.)  I can’t remember the last time I ran in place while pointing at the TV and squeeing.  🙃  (Oh, yeah.  Homecoming.  😆)

I installed some acoustic panels in my apartment to get rid of the echo (or something.)  The sound didn’t behave properly before, and now it does.  Thanks, YouTube.  It feels like I made a drastic change, but it was easy.  My ears don’t get fatigued anymore if that makes sense.  I can listen to everything at a lower volume and not miss dialogue or lyrics.  I got them in white squares, and now I know the difference between white and eggshell.  Sigh.

Warcraft Shadowlands Bastion

Oh well.  It’s not like I have a strict design theme to maintain.  😂  I’m still laughing at the two years of my life I spent pretending to be a minimalist.  (I was a don’t-you-dare-open-anything-with-a-door-ist.)  I spent a lot of time taking crappy photos of my space while feeling superior to other consumers for no reason.  All it accomplished was a mild complex about opening closets.  I was over it the second it dawned on me.  Now my theme is whatever makes me smile.

I’m still listening to The Chain by Evanescence repeatedly.  I made a playlist with that, and four versions by Fleetwood Mac, (including a live recording.)  Fleetwood Mac’s original release of The Chain is one of the first songs I learned to play by ear on the drums.  It forced me to focus on the beat, not on listening to the band.  I play along with the new version using an orchestral kit, which is fun.  I love the reinterpretation.  Amy Lee is so fabulous.  I’d trust Pink and Kelly Clarkson to do a Fleetwood Mac song reinterpretation, too.

I upgraded my Warcraft account, including preordering Shadowlands.  I got a free level boost to 120, but I can’t do it.  It would take the fun out of it.  (I still have two unused 110’s.)  I reached level 114 the last time I played.  The anniversary experience buff is welcome.  All my skills are low all over again, and I still think archaeology blows compared to farming, but whatever.  Plenty to work on over the winter.  I’m not pleased about the dogs and cats that keep wandering into fights only to die, though, Blizzard.  Not cool, yo.  Time to hire a company psychologist, eh?  I’m off to play zoomed-in, (so I don’t accidentally murder cat-shaped pixels.)  💜✌🏽

“I have another complaint for Jim’s permanent file.”

decorative toys and stuffies

I had a fun Halloween.  I dressed up as a sloth and passed out candy very slowly to trick-or-treaters.  I suspect some of the kids didn’t recognize I was role-playing and thought I was just old.  Heh.  (A few got impatient and went to another apartment, then returned when I broke character after noticing it only amused me.)  The kids were loud, excited, and adorable.  I liked having their energy breeze through.

I couldn’t figure out how to take a selfie while masked.  🤪  M invited me to join him at a party, but the theme included the word haunted or horror.  We both started laughing after he asked.  I’ve never been wired to appreciate the thrill of being scared.  Epigenetics, yo.  I’m a wee bit jealous of the people who can participate in such things (without crying.) I have my Blu-rays of Us and Get Out that I won’t be watching, ever. (I bought them to support Jordan Peele.)

I haven’t even watched American Horror Story, and Stevie Nicks is in it. (!!!) (M said that alone proves it’s epigenetics.)  😂  My mind is running all over the place.  I’m officially a Lizzo fan.  I loved her immediately.  I find out about new-to-me artists from my favorite podcasts lately.  My introduction to American Griots, by Louis York, was terrific.  They performed a song on The Friend Zone podcast, and it was ear candy.  I preordered the album immediately after.  (It’s so good!)

neon sign stating, it was all a dream

XD, from Jade and XD, created a unisex fragrance, called, D’Leau.  I ordered some, and in the process, created two scents of my own.  Both M and I are in love with D’Leau.  It’s officially my favorite at this time.  However, the ones I created reek.  (It turns out; I suck at it.) Fortunately, I don’t care because I have D’Leau.  😆  I’ve had two people ask me about it so far (and you know I don’t get out much.)  😂

It’s World of Warcraft’s 15th anniversary.  I’ve been playing on and off for eleven years now.  I have no plans of quitting, although I did have an unfortunate incident the other day. I was soloing a dungeon from The Burning Crusade, and some toon assassin appeared from thin air behind me.  It scared the shit out of me, and I nearly had a panic attack.  I took a three-day break, then got right back in there and reran it, this time on the heroic setting.

It still startled me when I triggered the assassin again, but I didn’t panic.  I just stood there and let the bastard try to kill my toon until I got bored, then ended him with nonchalance.  (I’m a level 110 tank, and he was level 80 or something.)  I’m so glad Blizzard allows us to travel back to lower level areas to exact revenge.  I don’t do it often, but when I do, I drink Dos Equis I usually have a blast.  I’m going to upgrade because they’re releasing a new expansion next year.  It’ll probably take me that long to reach level 120.  Heh.  I’m off to play.  💜✌🏽

p.s.  Missy Elliot was on The Read TV show on Fuse!!!

“Pam, I’m public speaking. Stop public interrupting me.”

new magnet

I had a good week.  I don’t think I cried the whole time.  (Probably a record.)  I did smash my fingers in the sliding doors, but I’m fine now.  I’ve been cautious about closing it ever since.  Before this, I cleaned the track and put WD-40 on it, but my muscle memory didn’t get the memo.  It was crawling around on the floor, making up new swear words, painful, but it didn’t leave a mark the next day.  (Based on the pain, it seems like a finger should have fallen off or something, but I’m not complaining.)

I got a new vacuum cleaner, recently.  It’s so much better than the last one I killed; I enjoy using it.  (Shark Navigator DLX.)  I think it might survive at least a year, which is impressive for a home with a cat.  Amelia B is a fur factory.  I didn’t know I was a cat person until I got one.  (In fact, I was quite convinced I was not a cat person.) I’ve decided it’s because my cat thinks she’s a dog.  (She’s great at fetch except for bringing it ba  nm.)

I loved listening to Loren Bouchard on 3 Questions with Andy Richter podcast this week.  I’m even more a fan now that I’ve heard him share his passion for his craft.  He’s fascinating and did an excellent job of answering the questions and expounding on them.  I watched the first few episodes of Home Movies again recently on the Adult Swim app.  I also love Bob’s Burgers, and Lucy, Daughter of the Devil.

Solange and new Funkos

For a long time, I could only watch animation or anime TV shows.  Anything with suspense, graphic violence, sirens, etc. was too triggering, but I was okay with shows like King of the Hill, Family Guy, The Simpsons, The Boondocks, etc.  Adult Swim and The Cartoon Network helped me get through some tough times and lots of insomnia.  Loren Bouchard mentioned it’s because cartoons enter our brains differently than live-action.

It explains why I can play World of Warcraft, but don’t enjoy hyper-realistic, violent games.  I love Blizzard for creating a playful world where I can feel powerful without harming others, or go fishing or fly around looking at the scenery.  When I struggle in an area of the game, I go back when I’m several levels higher and lay waste like Daenerys Targaryan over King’s Landing.  (Harmless retribution feels fabulous when the monsters that used to kill your toon die from a single blow.)

I discovered listening to audiobooks is perfect for me.  I cleaned my apartment yesterday while listening to a new novel, and realized it was even more satisfying than reading.  I don’t have to worry about staying in a weird position for too long while engrossed anymore.  Yay.  (It will also be useful when depression overwhelms, and I can’t hold my head up long enough to read.)

Funkos

I figured out the camera flash, this time.  🤭 I followed The Office Ladies podcast, of course.  I love podcasts that talk about TV shows with which I’m obsessed (InsecuriTea podcast for insecure and Jade and XD for several shows.)  I’m thrilled I’m able to watch live-action TV shows again, but more so when I can listen to people also invested in the story discuss what took place.  (Geekster paradise.)  I’m off to wind down for the day.  ✌🏽💜

 

“He can heal leopards.”

synthesizer chess

I’m in a weird mood. 😉  I’m so glad it’s finally cooled off; it means I can sleep under my weighted blanket again. I’ve been moving things around to prepare for winter.  I rearranged my synthesizer rig so I can experiment while sitting, standing, or bouncing on a fitness ball.

It’s modular due to often adding more, and changing out which ones are hooked up.  My brain insists I audition a gazillion different sounds and note my favorites before I can even consider creating.  I have a strong need to know what my equipment can do before I allow it to become part of my music.

It amuses me to have such a tedious, time-consuming methodology as an amateur musician.  You’d think I was preparing to create an epic symphony or something.  I imagine if I live long enough to master this process, I’ll probably use my hard-won skills to create the definitive sound of a Gigantosaurus fart. Or something.  🙃

mystery island

Afterlife interviewer:  So what did you do with your life?

Me:  (beaming) I’m the one who decided what dinosaur farts sounded like after they were extinct.

Afterlife interviewer:  (pause) Cool!

Me:  IKR!

Gettin’ Grown podcast this week (Daddy Lessons) was fabulous.  Hey Fran Hey, from The Friend Zone, and Crissle from The Read were guests.  I loved their explanations of what healing means; how it’s an ongoing process that requires maintenance (forever.)  They were also completely open about father-daughter relationships.

I laughed so hard despite the emotionally charged topic.  I have no idea how these (chosen) sisters managed to make it so funny, yet incredibly helpful in understanding my dad relationship.  I’m happy I found these podcasts.  Crissle and Kid Fury have a TV show now!  (FUSE, Oct. 11th, 11 PM.)

I can’t wait.  😆 I added two more podcasts:  3 Questions with Andy Richter, and Conan O’Brien Needs a Friend.  I highly recommend all these podcasts.  However, don’t listen to them in public unless you’re comfortable laughing your ass off in front of strangers, who don’t know why you’re laughing.  (Based on experience, I can’t stress this enough.)

Welp, I’m off to play with my synthesizers.  Those dinosaur fart sounds aren’t going to make themselves (anymore.)  💜✌

 

” It has come to my attention that some people here think that the use of drugs is something to laugh about.”

This video is for a short story by Andy Weir (The Martian and Artemis.)  It’s been on my mind since I first viewed it.  It aligns with my beliefs but goes beyond where I stopped imagining.  (When I realized I couldn’t find out what happens after death without dying, my interest plummeted.)  Andy Weir has a fabulous imagination.

I have a more organized understanding of why I view others as I do, now.  My transition to full auntie has surprised me in some ways.  I thought I would suddenly become a little cranky and say shit like, get off my lawn, (even though I don’t have one.)  I was looking forward to having no more damns to give.  I was wrong.

It’s the opposite.  It’s no longer possible for people younger than me to irk me.  When they make mistakes, my reaction varies from an inner chuckle over the memory of when I made the same mistake, to me cheering for them for taking a risk and making that mistake.  It’s weird and fun.

sky gazing

Just the other day, I saw a young person make a mistake, and I remember thinking they must be creative.  Heh.  Full auntie rocks.  Also, I have more awe for (good) active parents.  I still feel wrapped in the mesmerizing vibe of Fleetwood Mac from the concert in February.  I hope it never goes away.

I got a concert BluRay of Evanescences’ Synthesis Live a while ago.  The formerly scary (to me) audience has transformed into one where I’ll probably be the weirdest present when I go.  Yay.  (Even though I know, I’m going to bawl the whole time, just like at the Beyoncè show.)  I don’t care.  I’ll bring tissues.

If you heard someone shouting, yes, repeatedly, yesterday, it was probably me.  Or some other Gettin’ Grown listener.  Chef Jade and Dr. Keia are back.  😆  I missed them and am proud of them for demonstrating excellent self-care.  (Tell me, show me, sing about it, they all help me grow.)

I read I’m Telling the Truth, But I’m Lying, by Bassey Ikpi recently.  (Recommended by both The Read and The Friend Zone podcasts.)  It’s essays that describe the experiences of someone coming to terms with mental illness.  It’s as intimate as thought and highly relatable in a manner that allows you to feel safe enough to observe up close.  When it ended, I wanted it to keep going.

It reminded me we’re as much alike as different, and left me feeling hopeful.  Definitely worth reading.  I hope it becomes mandatory reading for mental health professionals.  I’m off to get ready for date night.  I’m dressing up for the first time in ages, so this should be interesting.  Heh.  ✌🏽💜

p.s.  I’m obsessed with The Office now.  Until further notice, titles going forward will be quotes from that show.