“Pamela Morgan Beesly, you need to apologize to your mother right now.”


The Depression Monster has had me in a choke-hold for a while. I can’t recall ever spending this much time sleeping in my life. I broke the no napping rule with wild abandon. I didn’t even exercise yet, today. (I absolutely will before I go to bed tonight, though.) I need to locate my mouthguard and start over using my massager to force my body to unclench.

Even though I know exactly how to help myself out of this pit of despair, I’m glad I started therapy again. I appreciate the objective voice of a trained professional. It’s kept me from fleeing the state and hunkering down as far from humans as possible. (There are no limits to what I’ll do to prevent being incarcerated in the VA psych ward again.)

My fear is irrational because they can’t hurt me unless I go there and ask for help. Duh. (I forget this when my thoughts start to frighten me.) I’m not in my bed, which is a victory for today. It’s the first time in my life that I love my bed. I’ve always thought it was weird when people mention hating to get up in the morning, but now I get it. Sleeping can be a refuge from life.


I’m so grateful for Sheryl Crow. I’ve been streaming her songs whenever I’m awake. Sometimes while bawling. She’s teaching me the art of songwriting, and her songs soothe my soul in ways I can’t articulate. Between that and working on the drum part of Evanescence’s Wasted On You, I’m hanging in there. I’m good at drumming with hip-hop songs, but Evanescence’s music challenges me.

It’s hard for me to listen to just the drums when Amy Lee is singing. I got a book about syncopation, which is helping. I have massive kit envy over Evanescence’s drummer. He’s got the top of the line Roland electronic kit (drool.) I don’t have the drummer’s ear that would necessitate owning such a setup yet. It’s excellent motivation to keep practicing, though.

I got my Blu-ray set of the show The Good Place. ๐Ÿ˜†ย  I’ll be binging it as soon as I finish watching season 2 of Dead To Me on Netflix.ย Through podcasts, I’ve discovered so many shows I love are created, written, and or produced by a lot of the same people: Karen Kilgariff, Liz Feldman, Michael Shur, Marta Kauffman, Greg Daniels, Mike Judge, Larry David, and Whitney Cummings. (And those are just the names I can remember.)


I’m delighted by how helpful my favorite podcasts have been during the pandemic, too. The episode of Good For You with Whitney Cummings talking to Kat Dennings is fabulous, even though I had to recharge my earbuds halfway through. Heh. I love longer episodes, which is part of why I love Armchair Expert so much. The ability to hold my interest that long is a skill.

Staying In with Emily and Kumail is another excellent podcast. All Fantasy Everything is one I look forward to each week. They crack me up, and I love the sound of them laughing hard. It probably releases dopamine in my brain or something. And of course, Conan O’Brien Needs a Friend. (Conan is like personified Prozac to me.) He just has to exist, and it makes me feel better. Heh.

Welp, I’d better go work on unclenching my body before I get on the treadmill. Hopefully, my coma-like sleeping marathon is over, so I can get some chores done. I hope your weekend includes lots of laughter. ๐Ÿ’œโœŒ๐Ÿฝ

11 thoughts on ““Pamela Morgan Beesly, you need to apologize to your mother right now.”

  1. Sending you much love, my near one. I hear you, I really do. And I think about you a whole lot, even if Iโ€™m super quiet much of the time. I do read your blog religiously, and itโ€™s uncanny how much I can relate to. Anyway, just wanted to say all that ๐Ÿ˜๐ŸŒท๐Ÿ™Œ๐ŸŒŒ๐Ÿฅฐ. Mwah!! ๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜

    1. Thanks! Sending lots of love and safe hugs, sis. Mwah! ๐Ÿฅฐ๐Ÿ’œ๐Ÿ˜˜ Super quiet is relatable and doesnโ€™t affect how I feel about you. Just be and know youโ€™re important to me. ๐Ÿ’œ๐Ÿ™ƒ

      1. Awww Iโ€™m elated!! ๐Ÿฅฐ๐Ÿฅฐ. I do look up to you (ok so Iโ€™m gushing here lol) and I feel so honored. You are super-important to me too, Wiser Sister ๐Ÿ’–๐ŸŒŸ๐Ÿ’–

      2. Gushing is fabulously fun IMO! Honored is just how I feel, thanks for the word. Heh. Got me smiling big like the doof I am. ๐Ÿฅฐ๐Ÿฅฐ๐Ÿฅฐ๐Ÿคญ๐Ÿ™ƒ

      3. Lolol girrrrrrl I just love you ๐Ÿ˜. I honestly canโ€™t tell you how much you make me smile too – big olโ€™ goofy Texas grins flying down here ๐Ÿฅฐ๐Ÿ’–โ˜ฎ๏ธ๐Ÿ’™๐Ÿ’š

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