I just got back from a mini vacation in Denver. M thought it would be an excellent way to shake loose from the downward spiral into a pit of depression. It worked. I’m feeling so much better. I’m nearly giddy — a pleasant side-effect of getting baked while in Rome. I feel energized from reaching a state of zero anxiety. Half the effect is from the sense of awe over the achievement. I always forget how incredible it feels. It makes for a delightful surprise each visit.
It also reminded me of the cost demanded in vulnerability. In my case, partaking is a buddy exercise only. Heh. I cherish this knowledge like someone who thinks way too much. 🙃 (Jordan Peele made us cool.) I slept like Gayle King after an R Kelly interview last night. I woke up laughing, feeling like I could conquer my chores before noon. (Done.) I worked on my story in progress like Mavis Beacon was testing my typing for several hours. The Muse must have been pleased to see me discover that headspace.
The only con is I didn’t do an ergonomic check before I jumped in. I’m don’t stay in the same position for too long, or you’ll move like you’re 100 for an uncomfortable minute years old. It’s still funny every time I forget; bonus. I had a great time in Denver. I behave like someone who hasn’t been around enough diversity for a long time and can’t reign in the huge grin. I strongly suspect it factors into why I find the people of Denver so kind.
I beta tested a prototype while visiting, and it’s triggered all sorts of thought paths for potential usability. Air traffic controllers, surgeons, and neurodiverse people were obvious beneficiaries immediately. By the time I strayed onto a different thought tangent, I had decided it would probably be useful to everyone who wanted to use it. I merely applied a bit of capitalist tinged triage on the fly. (Those are people I know are often under tremendous pressure.)
Despite having fun, coming home was the best part. I longed for home while enjoying myself. It’s confirmation I’ve successfully configured my living space. It’s where I want to be. I had no idea this was the prize. It’s fabulous! The funny part is I think it’s going to weaken my tendency toward agoraphobia. When I know, I have a place where I can genuinely exhale, awaiting my return, going out is a lot less painful. Yay. Thank goodness for Marie Kondo.
I think the most important thing she taught me is organization and awareness of my connection to my stuff is a beautiful coping skill for anxiety and depression. (Usually, what’s good for us is good for most, because many don’t know they dabble in juggling these challenges, too.) I didn’t bring my new camera because I’m not even sure which parts of it I’m not supposed to touch yet. I only know those parts exist. (I’m such a noob. 😂) I’m off to continue re-reading A Wise Man’s Fear by Patrick Rothfuss. (We’re in Fae. 😆)