“Have you ever seen the Incredible Hulk, sir?”

Victory is mine

I’m beside myself. Therefore, I’m writing to myself.

Dear Alison,

I can’t believe you did that shit!  Are you kidding me?!  Who are you?  You can’t be the same me that spent an embarrassing amount of time last night thinking of a way around this challenging situation.  Nope.  I was there.  You sincerely thought about taking a stab at time travel around wee-dark-thirty, don’t you know.  Did. That. Shit. Way to go!

Love, Alison

I’m proud of me for overcoming my fears and interacting with a (former) stranger in my home.  I’m in the middle of a project (building a laser midi violin for a client with rheumatoid arthritis.)  I needed to work with him to tailor it to his limited range of motion.  The last time I let a stranger in my home was when I had a connection issue with my ISP.

Everything went as expected, the person was polite and fixed the issue.  Despite that, it took a while to recover afterward (stop shaking.)  I despise reacting without my explicit consent, especially when it defies logic.  I want the ability to rationalize with my body, please and thank-you.  Meanwhile, back at the ranch, I needed my equipment, so doing it here was mandatory.

Yay

It took a while and most of my energy, but I got the information I needed to move forward with the project.  Yay.  After what felt like a minute of sleep last night, I awoke with no alternate plans (or time machines), and a 6 AM start time.  So I told myself to be like Beyoncè.  I have no idea, but somehow strongly suspect she wouldn’t have wasted precious sleep time dashing between a PC and whiteboard, though.  (She’d get the expensive, connected version, eh?)  😂

I’m floating on this victory.  I forgot how focusing on being professional drains away some of the energy typically wasted on being anxious.  I can only do so many things at once, so I love it when one of the things I’d rather not do gets kicked to the curb.  Take that, Anxiety, you ruthless bitch.  I’m pretty sure I used up too many resources to make it much further today.  Sitting upright is sapping away what little I have left, so I’m going to lay down and watch We Bare Bears and hope for a second wind.

 

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