“Please take it home. We don’t want it near the other books.”

 

defeated

The Depression Monster ambushed me in my sleep.  I tried so hard to ignore him, but I couldn’t stop weeping against my will over shit that already happened.  It’s a lousy way to wake up.  I don’t recommend it.  In the hour it took me to awaken fully, he beat me up with logic.  I hate that.  I can’t argue with logic.  He has new weapons that initially shocked me, then left me reeling with their truth.

Now I’m just pissed off the American government doesn’t promote euthanasia.  I don’t understand why I haven’t seen a single commercial offering a safe and simple way to put ourselves down like pets.  It should cost $19.95, and available at convenience stores open 24/7.  I’ve been producing this commercial in my head, (mostly because it’s far less dark than other thoughts running through my mind, and it amuses me.)

I’m going to cut this short because I know it’s too honest.  I know in a few days my brain chemistry will likely return to homeostasis, and this will all seem ridic.  Even though right now I’m confident this is entirely reasonable, and therefore my usual mindset is mere self-deception.  I also know I’ll still be upset I can’t buy a PermaNap kit for $19.95.  I’m off to design the packaging with Photoshop and my ninja coping skills.

 

6 thoughts on ““Please take it home. We don’t want it near the other books.”

  • That depression monster is so mean. Hiding under the bed and crawling out when you least expect it. I am glad you know that he will go back into hiding in a few days. Last year I gave a face and name to my depression-Morty. He is not nice and thankfully he has been removed or absorbed into my psyche. They do come back and in time we hopefully learn to combat/deal them. I hope that monster disappears faster than you think he will and the days become better.

  • I agree. 100%. If we’re truly as free as “they” try to convince us, then the right to stop living should be a given 👏👏👏👏. Here’s hoping that depression monster relieves you of its presence soon, though, because that tends to suck 😘😘😘💗🌺

  • Laina, I’m torn. Part of me knows your acknowledging this truth means you’re in the morbidly sarcastic stage of despair, just as I was when I thought it. Another part of me recognizes how courageous anyone is to voice their darkest thoughts in public, which you just kinda did, (which is also like me, however, it doesn’t lessen my concern for you.) I love that we can connect; it involves my loving you. (I seriously haven’t figured out how to connect with anyone without loving them first.) So I’m typing all this to say the words I can’t find in English, (because they probably don’t exist.) I’m counting on your ability to read what I mean beyond what I’m able to say. I laced it with bluntness, so if this reads like nonsense, there’s still a bit worth nabbing. <3<3<3