I didn’t do it on purpose, my foot fell asleep.

I picked up my new glasses today.  I’ve got an adjustment headache.  I wore them home, which was a mistake.  The improved vision is making everything seem surreal, and it’s messing with my depth perception.  I struggled to stay in my lane all the way home.  That hasn’t been an issue since I was a teenager.  I realize my internet glasses were a bad idea.  I guessed on a few options I’d never heard of and weren’t included in my prescription.  I need to get these readjusted.  I hope it’s just that I was impatient and didn’t let her adjust them correctly, and not that the frames are poorly designed.

I’ll go to the VA on Tuesday and get in line.  I don’t mind waiting if I bring my 3DS and headphones.  The woman who adjusts glasses there is excellent.  She’ll like the frames I chose, too.  She’s the one who introduced me to funky frames in the first place.  Lots of non-South Dakotan veterans are moving here for better care.  I’m glad they’re able.  It means longer waiting times than in the past, but that’s infinitely better than reading about a veteran dying in the shower and being discovered 9 hours later in a shitty VA hospital.

I’m exhausted.  I haven’t been able to sleep the last few nights, and have managed about 2 hours in the last 48.  It’s because I’m tense all the time now.  I have to keep my mouth open to prevent clenching my jaw.  When I read about Carrie Fisher’s heart attack, I burst into tears and started threatening the universe like I was going to kick her ass if she didn’t give her back immediately.  I’m still a little worked up but relieved to report she’s in stable condition last I heard.  I thanked the universe and retweeted all the tweets about this disturbance in the force.  My favorite said,

“She survived alcoholism, addiction, depression, and bipolar disorder.  If anyone can survive 2016, Carrie Fisher can.”

On New Year’s day, I’m going to make a big cardboard 2016 out of Amazon boxes and beat it beyond recognition, then set it on fire.  If I had the equipment, I’d relieve myself on the ashes for good measure.

On a more pleasant note, I hope you all survive the holidays without losing it and threatening to beat up the universe, or something.  At least there will be cookies with extra sugar on top.  And candy canes you made into little pepperminty spears to fight rogue elves sitting on shelves.  Just remember to excuse yourself every so often and find a safe place to exhale and catch your breath.  It’s going to be alright.

Autism Meltdowns

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