The pain came back. I had about 8 hours of pain free giddiness. But then it started again. It’s been hurting ever since. I can’t sleep. I can barely eat, but I force something down whenever I take my medication. I didn’t take that warning seriously the first time. After dry heaving until I thought I was going to puke myself inside out, I was ready to admit it was a legitimate suggestion. I’m so tired. I get in bed at night, and go through the motions of sleeping, but I prop myself into a seated position, and continue with my new ritual. I fill a glass with ice, then add water. I swish the cold water through my mouth, then spit it out into another glass. Gross, I know, but it’s necessary.
I’ve been doing this nonstop, 24/7 since the pain began again. I’ve spilled a lot of water. It’s like my brain doesn’t have n-key rollover, or something. Further proof that I suck at controlling my avatar, (body). I can go as much as 8-mississippi’s between swishing, but any longer than that, and it makes my pulse and blood pressure shoot up as the pain quickly intensifies. When I shower, I have to place my two glasses on the edge of the tub, for quick access. I had to take my water glasses downstairs in order to retrieve my mail. The act of walking down the stairs must have taxed my sleep deprived brain too much, because I accidentally drank from the spit cup on my way back to my apartment. This is bad because ewwwww, and also because drinking infection rinse is not a wise way to conquer the infection. Sigh.
I have an appointment with the dental specialist on Wednesday afternoon, then my dentist the following Monday. I won’t be leaving the dental office on Wednesday unless I’m pain free. It’s not negotiable. If they have to pull the tooth in order to end this pain, then so be it. I’m enduring the pain as well as I am now because I know that on Wednesday, it’ll be over. It sucks, but I can hang in there until then. I’ve learned things about myself during this ordeal. For instance, if I find something amusing, it doesn’t matter if I’m in excruciating pain, I still laugh. I like this about myself. Funny deserves to be laughed at. I also learned that pain is more endurable if you surrender to it, and allow it to run it’s course without fearing or fighting it. Whenever it peaks in intensity, I think about Paul Atreides when the Bene Gesserit Reverend Mother Mohiam tests him with the pain box.
On Wednesday night, I’m going to eat a feast, then sleep for a long time. I’m off to focus on my swish/spit routine.