What’s that red dot on your sweater?

Today was long.  I have an earache and my throat is sore.  This usually means I’m about to get sick.  I’ve been taking Advil whenever the pain steals my attention, but that’s not very often.  I strongly suspect my high pain threshold doesn’t include anything above my neck.  It’s been storming all week, and it looks like that will continue soon.  I’m intrigued by the announcement of Apple’s new wireless earbuds.  The reviews I’ve read about Samsung’s version are all over the place.  I’m going to stick with my Apple rule.  Never buy first generation anything from Apple.  I did buy an iWatch, but the new version didn’t even interest me enough to look at what changed.  My iWatch is my nightstand clock 90% of the time.

I love watching gadgets evolve.  We’re getting so close to altering our bodies in order to integrate electronics.  I read a lot of speculative fiction, so I’ve read several fictional iterations of body implants.  Much like with Apple, don’t buy first generation.  I’ll be tickled if I live long enough to get Eyes 2.0.  I just hope Apple doesn’t name them.  Or Microsoft.  I went out onto my balcony earlier to check the weather, and tipped my chair forward to drain the water.  I did look between the wood slats to see if I saw any movement below first.  It was quiet, with no detectable motion.  But after I drained it, I heard a man and woman yell out, then when I looked down, I saw them running out onto the lawn.  I said, “Oh no! I’m sorry!”, but I was laughing at the same time.  And for quite a bit of time afterwards.  I wish I’d managed to hold it in, at least until I got back inside my apartment.  Sigh.

My USPS complaint got results.  My package was delivered the following day, and there was a verbal apology.  That was nice, and the man I spoke with said he was going to work on the issue I outlined as a problem.  I suggested it was a training issue, and he agreed.  I have no idea how they do carrier training, but I’m pleased with the resolution.  I think I’d make a good mail carrier in a residential neighborhood.  The constant motion, repetition, organization, and routine are very attractive to me.  But then again, I just remembered that I’m an indoor enthusiast.  I know what it’s like to carry a heavy bag through ice and snow already.  Scratch that.

I am looking into getting a second job for after I move to Denver.  I work at a different pace than my co-workers, so it’s a good solution, provided I find something that fits.  I have a few options that I’m pursuing in order of preference.  I’m just waiting on more information.  So far, the process of transitioning to Denver has been overwhelming for the most part.  I waiver on a daily basis while dancing the tightrope of anxiety and fear management.  I forget what the hell I was thinking in the first place.  I question my judgement and decision making ability.  I worry that I’m being manipulated without my knowledge, and am on a pathway to regret.  I worry that I’m pushing myself beyond my capabilities, and won’t recover from the aftermath.

And that’s not even half of what flies through my mind whenever I come up for air.  I try to stay busy and focused, so my mind doesn’t wander to worry.  It works extremely well, as long as I don’t lose my concentration.  But it’s a losing strategy because it’s running rather than facing the issue.  I keep telling myself that if I can just get to a point where I feel rested and recovered enough from all the traveling, I’ll be able to clearly and confidently move forward one way or another.  Right now, I feel like I haven’t slept in a few days, and ran outside with wet hair.  I can sense that my bill is coming due, and I’ll be paying for all my running around of late.  I’m off to read.

Autism The Struggle

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: