Today seemed to fly by. I’m flying to Denver tomorrow for an interview and to sign some paperwork. My therapist gave me a quick pep talk in email, reminding me that I’ll do fine. She’s really good about that. I did have a lot of anxiety earlier, and came close to a panic attack, but didn’t have one. I did the grounding and breathing exercises she taught me and warded it off. Now I’m merely a tiny bit nervous. I think that’s acceptable. I’ll be back Saturday night or Sunday morning, so it’ll be a cinch. I won’t even have time to miss my cat. Much.
I think I got anxious because I was going to try and pack tonight. I decided instead to make a packing list tonight, and pack tomorrow. I’m not nervous for the interview because I’ve had lots of training for that. I’m WYSIWYG, (what you see is what you get). I’m not self conscious, even though I’ve spent an embarrassing amount of time trying to figure out how to change that. I’m starting to think it’s not something you can acquire through sheer effort. I just don’t know how to divide my attention into so many facets in real time. But I can roll my tongue, so I guess it’s fair.
It’s getting ready to storm. I just went and looked on my balcony, and there’s lots of lightning everywhere I can see, but not directly above yet. My cat lets me know in advance because she won’t leave the kitchen when it’s storming or about to start. I tried to pick her up and move her to my bedroom once. I have a scar on my arm to remind me never to do that again. She clawed me hard enough to draw blood, then scolded me. It was hilarious, but I got the message. I figure it’s the most use my kitchen gets, so there’s that. I’m off to read.