I guarantee you, Moses was a picker.

Samantha Bee is awesome.  Just needed to share that, in case anyone was unaware.  In other news, my most recent face plant will require my seeking dental care on Monday morning.  The swelling on my cheek has gone down, thanks to icing it often.  The pain has settled in what feels like the deepest recess of my ear canal.  I’ve been taking Ibuprofen.  I forgot about it while brushing my teeth, but then remembered very quickly.  I wrote an email to my therapist that I thought was hilarious, but she responded as if I was being serious.  I’m not sure if her wit is equally dry, or if she simply decided to ignore the humor mask.  Or both.  I’m sure she got that I was aiming for funny, though.

That’s one thing about my therapist that I noticed quickly.  She has high intelligence in multiple categories.  I’m not sure what this says about my personality, but I notice things about people and categorize them accordingly, until they do or say something that indicates a miscategorization.  Then I usually marvel at the rarity, and adjust.  I categorize people in order to make socializing with them in the future easier.  I do this for 2 reasons.  First, I’m Autistic, and in my case, it means socializing is difficult for me.  Secondly, I’m socially lazy.  I don’t like to admit this, but it’s the best way to get me to work on it.  I could have more successful social encounters in my life if I put forth greater effort.  Instead, I tend to avoid social situations as often as I participate in them.  I try to maintain an equilibrium.

I categorize people by the dominant type of intelligence I detect in them.  There are people like me who gain a lot of their knowledge through reading books.  We tend to do well in “traditional” schools, because (at least in my youth), much of the teaching is done by books.  Therefore, we tend to feel fairly secure in our perceived level of book learning intellect.  It was the only type of intelligence that was praised or measured in “traditional” schools, besides athletic intelligence.  There are people who have incredible intuition, and seemingly dance gracefully through life.  People tend to like those with this highly intuitive intellect.  They fascinate us by making everything look so easy, when we know otherwise.  They just get life, and tend to be a lot calmer about it in general.  They can seem condescending, but if you look more closely, it’s just a matter-of-fact attitude about their abilities.

That’s probably the type of intellect I wish were dominant with me.  There are the people whose intellect is socially dominant.  They are usually called a “people person”.  They can get along with anyone, and tend to be pleasant company.  They’re successful in all walks of life, because so much of human life is about people.  I strongly suspect they’re the ones writing the books I read for enjoyment.  I bet John Irving has a high social intellect.  J. K. Rowling does, for sure.  I don’t know that it’s dominant in either case, but high all the same.  I generally feel awe toward the people in this group.  It’s beyond what I can bring myself to wish for.

There are several other types of dominant intelligence in my categorizations, but you get the gist.  I don’t believe there’s a significant difference between the average highest and average lowest IQ’s of humans.  There’s a big difference between comprehending and creating.  What we value at this point in human history is creating.  Nobody really gives a shit about what they don’t comprehend.  We also don’t really give a shit about what those with high IQ’s comprehend when it’s beyond us.  This is why scientists don’t make a lot of money.  We don’t value theory.

When I know a person is in a category that increases the likelihood of their feeling hurt by certain words, that’s a tiny bit of control I’ve gained in being deliberate when I socialize with them.   The puzzle has a few pieces connected now, and is less daunting.  My confidence that I’ll manage to connect enough pieces of the puzzle to get an understanding of the image it represents goes up.  I’m able to relax enough to speak, or interact online.  It’s not as efficient as I’d like, but it’s what I have.

I don’t value high IQ over high (insert other dominant form of intellect).  We all have a dominant intelligence, or talent, if you prefer.  It’s something that comes a little easier to us than most people.  It may be something that many people value in others, or it may be something that only a few value, and everything in between.  As for me, I’m fascinated by all of it, and value all of it.  When I notice something about a person that stands out, and separates them from the blur, it’s a step toward making a connection.  To me, it’s a lot like seeing them for the first time.  My brain immediately starts seeking out patterns.  After all, I am The Pattern Finder.  I use them to build the image I can see.  The you that you are to me.  That rhymes.  And I’m getting loopy, so I’m going to turn in mid-thought.  Sorry for not expressing myself well.

One thought on “I guarantee you, Moses was a picker.

  • “The you that you are to me” is so very pertinent to me here. Who people ‘are’ is so very connected to ‘who’ they are interacting with, and our perceptions of another are entirely our own. They are subjective and built on our own experiences, and our ability to understand and generalise our learning. This is something which M really struggles with.

    Like yourself, she too categorises people, her motive is to work out if they are safe, or are a friend. This is so hard for her, because she doesn’t really understand the grey areas of friendship which prevail and so is unable to see the bigger picture and work out people’s motives and agendas. This not only makes her vulnerable, it also means she loses out on some genuine relationships, because quite often her radar is way off. She is so young though and has much learning to do still. 🙂

    I am always thinking about this, and trying to find logical and rational ways to help M work it out. It’s so hard because social interactions and relationships often aren’t logical and rational. There are so many factors which are intrinsic to any interaction but aren’t obvious that I can’t imagine how hard this must be for her. Actually it hurts my head just trying to imagine! Recently we have each been drawing mind maps to show our own perception of social interactions and different relationships. It probably isn’t the best way to try and help with this but it at least opens up a dialogue about it in a non confrontational way as I can see her understanding, and she can see the things which I include which she doesn’t even consider. There is probably a way more simple way to support her with this but I don’t happen to know it yet? Still, she loves loves loves mind maps, so any excuse is a good one for her.

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