Do you have any idea how much time I waste in this apartment?

Today went by quickly.  I went in for my last early morning, thank goodness.  The dark circles have returned beneath my eyes, but they probably won’t last through the weekend.  I’ve acquired a few more coping skills, so I’m practicing until they become more natural.  I haven’t felt too well for the last few days.  I don’t think I’m sick.  I think I need to use one of those hydration tablets that you dissolve in water to replenish electrolytes and minerals.  I’m not fond of the half-ass attempt the manufacturers use to make the water taste sweeter.  I’d rather they make it turn purple, but not add any taste.  That would be cool.

I harbor a (formerly) secret disappointment that all of our foods and beverages aren’t brightly colored, micro-engineered cubes that are tailored to our nutritional needs and taste/texture preferences.  I know GMO’s are hated, but I only object to the lack of information and regulation.  If you’re going to add ingredients to my food and/or genetically alter it, I want to know what, how, and why.  And I want the option to choose what modifications I approve of, and the ability to reject those I don’t.  I want science to do awesome things to food.  Just not the shady shit they pull now, and then don’t tell us until enough people die from it.  Greedy bastards.

I had a horrible moment early this afternoon.  I discovered a spider on my ceiling, right over my bed.  I have 9 ft. ceilings, so it was a pain to get it.  It was probably a wolf spider, but I didn’t study it.  I know intellectually that it couldn’t possibly harm me.  But that didn’t stop my body from freaking the fuck out.  I was breathing hard, and searching on Google for any service that would come immediately and kill the spider.  The entire time, I kept looking across the room to see if it was still there.  It barely moved.  I sat there and almost cried for a few.  Then I called the apartment manager to see if she would send over a maintenance person to kill it.

Sadly, they were all busy, and would be for a few hours.  She was nice about it, and admitted to sharing my fear.  She suggested I stand on my bed with vacuum extension, and suck it up, then vacuum all over to make sure it’s dead.  This is exactly what I did.  The only hard part was approaching it, and that was all about fear.  I dragged the vacuum hose up the wall toward it, so it couldn’t flee down the wall toward my bed, (scream).  It sucked it up easily.  Then I vacuumed the shit out of my whole apartment.  I have a bag-less vacuum, so I wanted to bury that fucker in every cat hair and dust bunny I could find before emptying it.

It was a pretty good feeling to take care of it myself.  Knowing I can, even if it’s in a hard-to-reach place, is good.  I didn’t even think about grabbing my cat and abandoning my apartment this time.  And it was a pretty big spider.  With legs, about the size of a quarter.  But I’m going to stop typing about it, before I get all worked up again.  I gave myself a headache earlier from freaking out, but it’s gone now.  Whew.  I told the guys today that we didn’t have to start our newest hire at $15 an hour in our state, because it felt like a lie to withhold the information.  They didn’t care.  Shocking, I know.

The Struggle

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