I am speechless: I have no speech

Today was easy.  We closed up shop at lunch time, after choosing our next project.  It’s more advanced than anything we’ve done recently, which is why it was chosen.  However, I’m a bit concerned about how client-centric it’s going to be.  That means communicating a lot with the client.  Since we’re providing the service, it’s best to allow for clients choice regarding how to do that communicating.  They almost always choose the phone.  Usually we can compromise with Skype.  A few times, we’ve had to ask a relative to be our go-between.  Far from ideal.  The  more I think about it, the more I realize it’s a bigger problem than originally thought.

I’ll see how training goes with our newest hire.  We started her insurance right away because she has Medicare, and they lapsed on a supplemental plan.  If I understood her correctly.  I think it means she’d have co-pays or something.  Our group rate won’t increase by adding her.  While she’s training, we’re giving her $15/hour.  I was overheard telling Sean that it passed, and it was assumed that I meant nationwide.  So when I brought up salary in our meeting, they said $15/hour is the lowest we can go now.  I didn’t correct them.  I haven’t been able to work out if by remaining silent, I lied, since I got home.  So that’s what I’ll be obsessing over tonight.

The way I see it, we need her more than she needs us.  We’ve managed to avoid talking on the phone to a client for so long now, that I think we’re more than a little scared.  I can’t imagine the scenario that would make talking out loud to a stranger over the phone, in a professional capacity, a good idea.  I can speak out loud, but it’s not without effort.  I really don’t like talking.  I usually can, so I usually do.  But if it’s my choice, I choose typing instead.  My typing speed matches my processing speed in conversation.  It also requires motion, which is more comfortable than being still.  It’s probably why I obsess over my mechanical keyboards.  They’re like my preferred mouth.

The downside to typing as much as possible, is that if I avoid speaking out loud for too long, I struggle to restart.  I have that little panic surge that I blew it, and will never speak again.  This causes my throat to tighten up, and make it come true, at least until I can calm myself down.  It’s awful.  And you’d think that after this happened the first time, it would lose it’s chutzpah.  Nope.  Freaks me out every time.  So I talk to my cat.  She’s not very good at conversation, so I say her lines too.  She usually watches me attentively, and interjects on occasion.  It’s adorable.  Even though I know she’s concentrating on hearing the word, ‘treat’.

I just know that I’ll be the one talking on the phone to this client.  I guess I’ll make some scripts over the weekend, and then volunteer so I don’t stress about it Monday.  I won’t need any extra stress on top.  Sean said something that made me think.  He’s obnoxious, but about half the time, I think his antics are hilarious.  He pointed out that I give him a mixed message with my sometimes eye rolling.  So now, since I thought instead of responding, he thinks it means he can step it up a notch.  So far it’s been harmless, so we’ll see how it goes.  I’ve collected all the nerf darts, and they’re in my lower drawer just in case.

Smart Stick Darts