I had my first session with my new therapist today. I’m stunned. She warned me that it would happen, so I’m not freaking out. I paced for a bit earlier, trying to wrap my head around it. I think I’m drained of my daily quota of abstract concept comprehension. She also predicted I will sleep hard tonight from being worn out. I’m already feeling it. I came pretty close to crying a few times, but I bit my lip and soldiered through. Crying is a good way to cope when you’re sad, but for some reason, I was cursed to spend my life crying exactly the same way I did when I was 10; post-crying hiccups, and all. That went over well in the Army. /sarcasm
So I pushed them back. I’ll let them out the next time I shower. That’s my crying place. It’s so efficient. So I told her why I have nightmares. I don’t know how it happened. I didn’t come anywhere near having a meltdown. I had a hard time remaining seated, but I feel comfortable with her. Being still is something I normally reserve for when I’m sleeping, but I’ll try to make an exception for this next time. I can’t believe I told her. Holy Shiitake Mushrooms, Batman! She’s going to teach me some coping skills, which is good, because running and distraction don’t feel like enough sometimes.
She told me she was proud of me, and honored that I shared with her. Wow.