Stunned by soup?

It’s still raining.  I’m going to go for a short run on the trails since it’s dark already.  And cold and wet.  But still well above freezing.  It would be silly to skip it now that I’m dressed and ready to go.  Okay.  10 minutes, then I’m going.  I didn’t sleep again, so I’m a little loopy.  I’m meeting with a therapist tomorrow to see if we mesh.  I’m not using the VA this time.  I negotiated an agreement with my work partners, and work is going to pay for me to attend 10 sessions.  Beyond that, it’s out of pocket, but it seems fair considering I’m going outside our insurance.  It would have been the first time we used the insurance, as far as I know.  Our expenses are so low it blows my sister’s mind.  Our product is a service, so I suppose this might be typical.

We are invested in each other professionally and financially, so whatever keeps the team tight rules.  My chronic insomnia due to nightmares is effecting my work performance.  I’ve been working quickly, and sufficiently, but not excellently.  This is not acceptable.  My job is my passion, so it’s not work to me.  For me, the work part is going to my office and interacting with my coworkers.  Since socializing is optional, there’s no pressure to bother with it.  We skype.  We work well together, and compliment each others skills.  So if talking to a therapist can help me get back in my groove, it’s a good thing.  I have a pretty good idea what I’ll eventually need to talk about, but tomorrow is just meeting.  I’ll know fairly quickly if I think she’s someone I can trust.

I’m about 65% certain we’ll mesh.  I base this on things she’s written on her website regarding her approach.  I’m going to take some Benadryl tonight.  It’ll help with allergies and sleep.  Okay, the trails are calling.  Off to my soggy run.

Running The Struggle

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