I’m Cosmo!

That was the best vacation, ever.  It was very short, but in all the right ways.  My arrival time was perfect, in that it allowed me enough time to settle in my hotel room, then have dinner and hang out with my new aide.  Her place is cool, and she has a piano.  We walked her dog, which was a comfortable way to socialize for me.  I had a small dose of the hybrid before we met up.  It lasted the entire time, and I slept well that night, (Friday).  Maddie is the kind of person who looks in your eyes when she talks to you, if possible.  I don’t mind this, but I worry about my inability to reciprocate.

I didn’t get overwhelmingly anxious during this time.  When I felt a twinge of anxiety, it didn’t escalate further.  It was manageable, even when I psyched myself out by focusing directly on my anxiety levels, before catching myself.  It would seem that cannabis is impervious to my thought glitches.  Bonus.  It didn’t help with missing my cat, though.  It seemed like every commercial had a cat in it for a bit.  I really should schedule an appointment with my shrink to get started with making her a service animal.  Or whatever status allows me to keep her with me when I’m so far outside my comfort zone.

I think the most important factor of my using cannabis is the fact that it effectively takes the edge off anxiety, to the degree that I’m able to socialize without the constant interference.  I kept track of amount, intake method, strain, and THC%.  I also noted my diet and sleep patterns.  It was all good news.  The next day, all science was tossed out the window.  I had an astonishing amount of weed via second hand, some bong hits, and a non-stop puff, puff, pass for 4 hours.  I drank water throughout the tour.  I noticed several of us initiating a conversation, only to forget the topic halfway through.  It was hilarious to me.  The woman from Atlanta looked like she had something quite profound to share with us, but didn’t make it past the build up.  We all laughed when she came up short, and she laughed too.

I initiated the conversation with the ex-googler.  I had reached a point where I didn’t really care what his response would be, let alone my own ability to stay on topic.  I was able to process and retain his response, and we had the “google isn’t for everyone” talk.  I noticed while riding around to our various stops, that there closer to downtown Denver, the more dispensaries you pass.  There’s not a shortage of dispensaries in Denver.  I did catch a story about people doing illegal growing, and then taking the weed across state lines.  Apparently a few non-legal states were bitching to the supreme court that Colorado is making it harder to police weed in their state.  Legalize it, dumbasses.  Stop throwing money at what isn’t a problem, and have your cops spend that wasted time in race sensitivity training.

I’ve concluded that it’s a lot of fun to get really, really stoned.  However, it’s not something I’d want to do every day.  When I move, I’ll use cannabis as a tool 99% of the time.  But when I want to really relax and have fun doing something I never thought I could manage, I’ll try that again.  Fun, safe, and no consequences.  I discovered a new-to-me TV show that had me laughing so hard.  It’s called, “Last Man Standing”.  It’s my new favorite show.  I can tell there is some ad libbing going on, which I love.  I loved noticing it’s set in Denver, since that’s where I was watching it.  It’s on Netflix, so I’m going to binge on that later.  I’m technically “off” work for this week.  I’m still feeling more relaxed than usual, which is a nice effect.  It snowed/rained last night, so it’s cooled off.  It snowed in Denver while I was there, too, but not enough to get excited about.

I’m glad to be home, but I’m still smiling from the fun I had.  I’ve been playing my violin a lot since I got home.  I play when I’m happy.