Balance and Aim

Yesterday was painful.  I face planted after slipping on the ice, and managed to crack a molar in the process.  I look like I lost a fight with Mike Tyson.  I went to the dentist at the VA, and they sent me to an oral surgeon to get the cracked tooth dug out.  First, they cleaned my teeth and did a flouride treatment, since I couldn’t get in for surgery for a few hours.  I’m very pleased they did this, as I was there already, and going in the first place is hard for me.  I drove from the VA to the oral surgeon using the map they gave me.  I had it upside down, so I had to turn around at one point, and while doing so, I drove past my childhood home.  I don’t do this very often, as I live in a different part of town now.  The neighborhood seemed so small compared to my memories.

I arrived in plenty of time, and chose local anesthesia rather than being put under.  It meant a huge needle that I saw, even though they were trying to hide it from me.  I’m not afraid of shots so long as I know when they’re coming.  The first two didn’t hurt much.  The second two hurt about the same as a scorpion sting.  But it was only for a brief moment, and then they waited for the numbness to set in.  I didn’t feel any pain while the dentist dug out my tooth.  I heard cracking sounds, and had to push against the force to keep from moving too much.  The dentist and his assistant complimented me on remaining still.  He said he wished all his patients were so easy to work with.  I didn’t reply verbally for obvious reasons, but my eyes probably smiled.  I have a high pain tolerance, so it wasn’t difficult for me.

They prescribed an oral rinse and some narcotic pain killers.  I drove back to the VA to get them filled, and was home after about 5 hours.  For me to be away by myself, driving while it’s snowing, and going somewhere unfamiliar, is amazing.  I’m proud of myself for pulling it off without a panic attack.  The difference between the equipment at the VA dental clinic, and at the oral surgeons was astonishing.  I felt like I had travelled forward in time.  The seat was leather, and so soft and comfortable.  They were worried that I would have a hard time, but in reality, the hardest part was staying awake.  I got 2 stitches, and a handful of gauze to help stop the bleeding.  I bit down on it while I drove home, and then changed it upon arrival.  My cat was a little put out that I was gone that long.  She’s so cute.

I took the pills, but I halved the dosage.  The numbness was just starting to wear off when I got the script filled, so I took it as soon as I settled in.  My face is bruised and swollen today, but the bleeding has stopped, and the pain is minimal.  I’ll drop the rest of the pills off at the VA ER tomorrow, since I don’t need them.  I’m just glad I didn’t throw up from them.  I’ve been eating gogurt and PB&J sandwiches today.  I’m slightly nauseated, but I feel much better today.  I slept really hard last night, and ruined my pillowcase from blood leaking out in my drool.  Fortunately, it wasn’t one of my good ones.  I’m healing quickly, as usual.  I’ll be going back to get a tooth implant when I’m all healed.  I’m a little bit shaky on my feet today because my brain keeps replaying the fall.  It freaked me out how quickly it happened.  I know that my body is too weak right now, or this wouldn’t have happened.  I’ll be so glad when I can run daily again.  I never realized before how much balance depends on strength.

I read an article today about black intellectuals who want reparations.  I strongly disagree, and think reparations are a ridiculous notion when you consider the fact that the only reason African Americans exist in large numbers is because of the Africans who sold our distant relatives into slavery.  It was horrific betrayal, and we’re still coping with its effects on our daily lives.  It sucks.  I hate that it’s so hard to have brown skin in America.  But reparations won’t resolve anything.  First of all, who would pay them, and to whom?  Ridiculous.  Turn that energy toward fighting for an end to institutional racism and oppression.  We all feel the repercussions of slavery, and we all deserve viable solutions.