Laughing It Off

It dipped into the frost range last night.  Well, this morning.  It’s currently 34 degrees F.  It’s going up to 55 later.  Our state population doubles today as the hunters come to hunt pheasant.  Sometimes I go to the airport and watch them land and gather their gear.  But not today.  We have a spa here that just got sensory deprivation pods.  They have more salt than the dead sea, so you allegedly float while either in darkness, or with soothing lights and relaxing music for an hour.  Black people tend to have denser bones, so I’m not sure I would float.  I know in a regular pool I don’t.

It doesn’t stop me from swimming, though.  I enjoy it.  I will have my apartment back to myself later today.  I like having my nephew here, but I don’t like when it breaks my schedule.  He kept talking to me when I was coding.  But he did call tech support for an issue I was having with my virtual server.  I’m thankful for him doing that.  It has to be pretty much life and death for me to initiate a phone call.  And even then, my voice usually disappears from the anxiety.  I don’t usually answer the phone either, because I have the ringer turned down as low as possible on all handsets, and if the caller knows me, they know better than to call.

I like watching the news at 5 AM because the weather man is a total smartass.  The anchor woman was in a commercial talking about how everyone gets along so well, and then the camera moved to him sitting beside her, and he said, “We hate her”.  I sprayed my water and had a coughing fit as I didn’t see that coming.  Another one shows him in footed pajamas, interrupting a segment to announce McDonald’s now serves breakfast all day, while eating an Egg McMuffin.  One of my brothers used to work there so I was already biased.  He says funny stuff a lot but you have to pay attention because he deadpans it.  I didn’t get deadpan humor until I saw Aubrey Plaza in Funny People.  I’m the only one I know who thought that movie was hilarious and charming.

I also really liked Identity Thief, and This is Where I Leave You.  I woke myself up from laughing at a joke from that movie that came up in my dreams.  I wake myself up laughing a lot.  It’s because I have PTSD, which manifests mainly as depression and anxiety.  Depression sucks so I have a super plan for preventing it.  Exercise + low carb no junk diet + Prozac + videos of stand up comedians + videos of laughing babies = a happy person who you’d never realize has an issue with depression.  If I skip a run, or eat crap (cheetos, fast food, etc) it has a negative effect quickly.

I’ve messed up when I couldn’t work up the courage to go grocery shopping, and instead ordered a large pizza, and ate it for every meal for 3 days in a row.  It killed my motivation to run even though I love it, and then my sensitivity went up in direct relation to my ability to communicate going down.  Boy did I pay for that mistake.  I have a depression box for emergencies.  Sometimes, for no apparent reason, my mood plummets seemingly instantly.  It’s like a punch in the gut.  When that happens, I grab the box and start battling, even though I don’t want to do so.  I have rules.  No naps, no pity parties, and use the depression box if necessary because it works if I do.

Inside is a round lidded container in which I put paper strips with activities on them.  I draw one, and then do it.  They are things like create a song, design a quilt, play violin to the cows, etc.  Creative things I enjoy doing that keep me distracted for a while.  If it’s really bad, I have a secret weapon.  My DVD of Wanda Sykes: I’ma Be Me.  That DVD is to comedy what morphine is to a skinned knee.  I don’t use it very often.  It’s been about a year since I last saw it.  This is a good thing.  The first time I watched it, I laughed so hard I threw up.  Gross, I know.  But I laughed at myself, cleaned up, and went back to watch the rest. That hadn’t happened since I was a kid laughing at my brother, and getting sent to eat in the garage.  I had a tray table and lawn chair set up in anticipation of it happening.  I spent many suppers eating in the garage between bursts of laughter.  Steve would come out to the garage after he finished eating and start up again with his hilarious antics.  We were the only house in the neighborhood where the kids got in trouble for laughing too hard.

I have such fond memories from it.  It’s usually what causes me to wake myself up from laughing.  The weather guy just imitated the Trololo guy in the middle of the weather forecast.  😂

The Struggle

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