Depression Diversion

I slept really well last night.  I went to bed at 7PM, which is ridiculously early for me.  I woke up at 4:45AM because Amelia wouldn’t stop walking on me, and meowing for me to feed her.  After I fed her,  I intended to strip my bed and start laundry, but instead I fell asleep again.

I estimate I got about 9 hours of sleep.  That’s an alltime record for me when not ill.  Usually I average between 4 and 5.  I generally suck at sleeping, even though I practice good sleep hygiene.  I blame it on my brain.  It, much like my cat, would rather play all night.  Sometimes I give in.  I did add a new mattress pad to my bed that was advertised as the same ones used in Marriot hotels.  I have a Tempurpedic mattress, and this is a thickly cushioned pad on top.  The combination was heaven.

I think the new mattress pad kept me from overheating from the memory foam.  I’m hot blooded big time.  Also, my body sucks at regulating my temperature.  I blame a head injury from when I was in the military.  As much as I’d like to say I obtained said injury in the line of duty being a hero, I can’t.  I got it from riding on bumper cars at a company picnic.  My car wouldn’t go, and some asshole hit me from behind at top speed.  I bumped my head against the pole that attaches the car to the roof of the driving area.  I blacked out for a bit, and then asked for a do-over since I missed most of my turn.

Instead, I got a trip to William Beaumont Army Hospital, where I was kept overnight for observation.  All I remember about that night was that my friends brought me some warm flour tortillas from Taco Cabana, and then ate the green jello off my dinner tray.

After I woke up and walked around for a bit, I realized I was feeling down.  The photos of the refugee boy who drowned were still on my mind.  I unfollowed one of my favorite singers (Paloma Faith), on twitter because she posted a graphic photo of him today.  I just can’t take any of that today.  I donated money to UNHCR ( a UN refugee agency), but still feel like it’s not much of an effort to help.  I have to redirect my thoughts away from the travesty for now because I have PTSD, and The Depression Monster would just love to jump on this opportunity to drag me into despair.

So I decided it was time to delve into my anti-depression canister and pull out an activity.  I got:  Create a song on your computer using Logic Pro.  So aside from chores, that’s my activity for the day.  I’m making an upbeat electronic dance track.  I’m working on the bridge now, as I already have the main melody.  I’m taking my inspiration from Justin Timberlake.  Except I won’t be beatboxing on any tracks.  I may create a video for it tomorrow, and then upload it next week.  I’ll think on it.

setupmac

The purpose of the activity is to distract my brain and force it back into happy-go-lucky mode.  It works well.  I have a short attention span, which means it’s also easy for me to redirect my thoughts. Bonus.  But when I am engaged in an activity I like, I can do it until my body or my cat demand I stop.  I’m just weird like that.  It’s a good thing for a code monkey.

Halfway through setting up to create my song, someone knocked on my door.  It was Fedex with 2 packages.  The first was my Bose Soundlink Mini II.  It’s as good as I thought it would be.  The second was another Raspberry Pi.  That’s for another project.  It also had 2 new 1000 piece jigsaw puzzles.  One is one of those  Wasgij puzzles where you don’t get a photo of the finished puzzle.  The other was a cartoon with a gazillion things going on at once.

I do jigsaw puzzles to wind down before I sleep.  I have to avoid any kind of screen for an hour before I lay down, or I won’t sleep.  Then I usually read a while, then sleep.  I’m off to work more on my song.

The Struggle

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